Forgettable

I am a little drunk but I am aware of what I am writing at the moment. Please don’t come over if you need conscience or expectation even for a little hope. I am worried about waste of time. Better to have unfinished story. Frankly, do you still feel stronger to complete, feel passionate or make it simpler? I am both proudly and logically not supposed to! I am afraid of being in love again. After a year and  half I need to be slightly numb in order to regain old enthusiasm and vivid dreams I once had as I loved you before. I, therefore, need more time to see you by my side, also with a good intention… Needless to say that I  know well i am a little tired of being kept to wait, however it is kinda like full of hell. God (?) damn!
As far as I know, Nietzsche was used to say that “Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man”. Do you totally understand what i meant? Worth still hoping? I am not willing my dear.
Even a thousand words is unable to express how i feel regarding the all past experiences. I wish i could find right words… Exhausted already or may be blurry, too much to hold then in. But anyway...

No matter what you`ve done/what happened. Really! I thank you for your kind offer. You tried at least. I highly appreciate your sensitive Pisces heart in love. But you ought to know that i have fragile heart as well as a kind of sentimentality! Well, instead of coming, drink Kolsch, catch a good song and remember me (if you like) by wearing a smile at your convenient time.

Faithfully,

Pinar